Remember when you hit me in the middle of the road that I had you arrested because you accused me of fucking you around at a family party meantime N… and I were smoking in the toilets
Remember how you convinced me I should drop the charge of assault because it wouldn't happen again yet it did more than once saying if I act like a man I should take it like a man
Remember when on my birthday you never arrived and used a work incident to cover up but got drunk with colleagues
Remember when you said M… is not your child
Remember when you tried to convince me that because you were A+ and I was O+ the possibility that I fucked you around was possible because the girls couldn't be yours as they were O+ and the ladies at the blood bank said so
Remember when you claimed that at a braai you were able to give 2 woman orgasm by merely rubbing their feet, never once doing it to me
Remember when you got drunk on mampoer at L…’s where I drove home and whilst messaging her we home safely you took my phone and threw it against the wall and it broke into million pieces and never replaced it and attacked me and pretended the next day nothing happened
Remember when you told me CB called and said he was worried about the conference at Optiplan and you kept me up until 4am to tell you everything because C… already did (not)
Remember how you proposed to me......you didn't
Remember how your dad warned you against me that we shouldn't marry because I'm a liar and can't be trusted besides I'm English
Remember when we stayed for a short 6 months at Alf and slept on the couch
Remember how you never allowed me to drive because you'd always tell me how to do it and where to park
Remember telling me that you had an opportunity to work with SAPS in a 'secret agent role' which I ever heard about
Remember when you accused me of sleeping with everyone I worked with
Remember when I found you lying on top of Carl… at your 30th and you made it to be my fault and you both fell over the dogs as your excuse and I made everyone drunk except myself
Remember when I cut my foot at your 30th and you didn't even care and got everyone to take Carl…’s side
Remember how you back handed me on our way to work and gave me a black eye and that I lied to cover for you (if you act like a man you should take it like one you said it wouldn't happen again)
Remember how you accused me of having an affair with A… from Cubs....the way we spoke and looked at each other whilst talking outside the AGM in your presence
Remember how I took loans to pay for M…’s 2 years at Varsity and you made no attempt to pay anything towards the loans
Remember when you refused to eat under cooked wors/patties but now you cook and eat them like that if I say something you ignore me
Remember how you always tell me to fuck off - bly stil - hou op kak praat - jou uitlos - not allow me to talk - walk away when I do try - say you not in the mood to listen to my shit ' to speak sense'
Remember when I wasn't allowed to say COOL or DOUCHE BAG - cool being a word you say often now
Remember when we stayed at Alf and I'd have my phone next to me when sleeping and you couldn't understand and accused me of hiding something but it was for the alarm
Remember when you demand I not say he but daddy in messages
Remember how you expect me to give long sentences when replying on WhatsApp even if I am busy at work
Remember how you told me often I was lazy, fat, selfish, fucked up and a whore
Remember when each time we fought the kids would ask us to stop and you'd tell them to fuck off it has nothing to do with them (made a deal they could be the referee and ask to stop and it would be honoured) each argument has them in tears
Remember how you wanted to know why I went on a diet do my nails and hair for who it was in particular because I never worried about it before
Remember when you accused me of poisoning your coffee and refused to drink it
Remember how you said I married you to get out of my parent’s home (the place we lived for 5 years) and you lived there prior to us moving
Remember at Leanne's 50th how you spent the whole night in the lounge not socialising with anyone.
Remember when you always said fuck off I'm not talking to you if I do I will say your name
Remember how you never asked once if you could help to pay for anything towards Monique and Siobhan's matric farewells (oh gosh you arranged a free car I suppose I have to arrange a gift of some sort for Robin)
Remember how you insisted I tell you my past experiences and asked if you were bigger and I said no, how upset you were, your name for me was whore
Remember when I showed you how to connect blue tooth quickly in the car instead of a long process you reminded me that you didn't have to do as I say and will do it your way - now you connect my way
Remember how when you get angry whilst driving you'd brake no matter whose behind us and blame me for being so fucked up and making you angry knowing the consequences most often kids are in the car
Remember how I had to ask to drive a car that you are driving and ruining and I'm paying for – never once contributing to
Remember how you went ballistic because we were at L… and gave C… R200 for pizza, 3 weeks later you don't batter an eyelid and order a burger and chips for R70. I mention this, you say “yes I was waiting for that comment selfish bitch”
Remember how you never did what I asked......like doing something for us/me something I could never not do you demanded I do it now or suffer the consequences
Remember how you didn't care for my opinion ever, your opinion was the most important
Remember when I once asked M… to go to the shops for bread and you told me I was fucked up allowing her to drive in the dark
Remember how you insisted on always being on your phone at my family events despite me saying 'you on your phone'. When mentioning you tell me to fuck off
Remember how you said that you were a Virgin when we were married which you only told me 21 years of marriage and how you often called me a whore because I slept with sooooooo many men and called me that in front of the girls
Remember how I called you a fuck face (name calling like you) and you said I should fuck off otherwise you'll do something to me and I should apologies and suffer the consequences
Remember how you told me Sandton Towers was your favourite place to go.......after 21 years of marriage
Remember when I took leave to sort things out and I didn’t want to tell you my plans you demanded to know
Remember how we tried making things better and were doing date nights, you threw in my face to not waste money on it you were not interested, but was OK to spend R1000 on date night in your favorite place in Sandton
Remember how you said artichokes is your favourite vegetable but never asked me to cook it
Remember how you said no wonder my parents said to wind my neck in because I don't listen and am a selfish bitch
Remember how you have to be asked how you want your coffee because it's never the same god forbid if it is not made how you want it
Remember how you told me I was fucked in the head to cry for my dead family and was selfish because I don't give you or the kids all the attention and cry too much
Remember when you talk so much I don't even reply because you do say only speak when I say your name
Remember when M… got drunk at L…'s 50th and you wanted to know if I was with her drinking....my reply was no and anyway she's 21
Remember how you always were forgetting details of things I had told you and would ask over and over then get cross if I said I already said......but remember your force number or old car registration
Remember how I got 2 loans to keep us afloat and you helped paying them back not
Remember when I used to get Wonga loans to keep us ‘afloat’ and say……..”Don’t go making debt without my consent because I won’t pay it”
Remember how you'd say if you wanted things to improve I'd need to change my attitude – like being nice would change our financial situation
Remember how you made me get up early for a month to show me all that you do and asked what I did for you (forgetting I pay the car loans, insurance, make food, buy groceries, toiletries, do washing, clean house) never once saying look what I do and make you do things
Remember when you said I was lazy and should clean the house myself never offering to help
Remember when you would freak out because the girls were lazy......after I said they needed to learn to do things for themselves then decide if they don’t do anything you won’t give them anything
Remember how you would never let me have an opinion because you'd say shut the fuck up - don't talk to me - you not sticking to the subject - don't change the subject - fuck off ' that's a fucked up thing to say, I don’t care what you want to say
Remember when I fell in the shower and suffered major back trauma how you helped me do things.......you didn't, nor did you comfort me
Remember how you'd always hurt animals by kicking them away from you
Remember how you asked for cigarette money
Remember how much you hated me going to Ali…’s and told me I was selfish to take the whole day yet you insisted to drop me off and could do what you wanted
Remember how you'd insist I park in a specific place and in a specific way or else
Remember how you would raise your voice and swear at me in public places even resorting to tripping me (Lustio Land)
Remember when I made a plan financially to do things in August (K… 50th – M… wedding) then got shouted at because we didn't have money, not even a thanks
Remember how you would Facebook stalk me and say who I could be friends with and I'm sure you get Y… to like my posts
Remember how you'd want to know what I do lunch times who I was messaging
Remember how I would get credit to get cell phones and pay the account with no help from you
Remember wearing my Employee of the ¼” t-shirt and C… made a joke about I what I really did and I commented Oh A… would like to hear that, because I don’t do much according to you
Remember when mom and dad died you showed no love sympathy or affection towards me
Remember how you would tag the bigger girls in a post and not me but expect me to tag you in things
Remember when dad died and I inherited money you had Both Copo debt paid without my permission and told to fuck off because I enjoyed the debt, no thanks at all – selfish bitch that I am hey
Remember when you and a male colleague were invited to dinner with Car… saying it’s a business dinner……same day as L…’s party I dropped you off and screamed telling me to fuck off and not contact you at all….I didn’t but you were in constant contact with the girls finding things out
Remember at MO you came to me (11 April 2015) after having a long conversation with Jac… apologizing about our circumstances and promised it would get better, I gave you 6 months (11 Oct 2015) – nothing has changed – it’s got worse than worse
Remember how I asked you to empty the urn and on my return you hadn't done it so I did it myself. You rush in remembering and I say don't worry I did it myself your reply raising your vouce was don't start with me in front of my sister
Remember when dad died you took L…'s part and said I was a heartless bitch to not give her anything
Remember when I cried you'd always say tears don't work for you – girls don’t even cry in front of you either
Remember how when you left me and the girls for Carl… and you told my family I was cooked in the head and you never admitting to the affair
Remember how when we'd go out to friends you'd insist being home early because the kids were bored or cold but it was actually you who wanted to leave. Never wanting to be sociable.
Remember how you'd tell me I'm such a cold fucked up bitch my kids and their partners discuss me and agree I'm a horrible person
Remember how you questioned me about Tinder after hearing me answer a question on the radio (Lara was on Tinder) plus I have read about it
Remember how many times you ask a question which is answered and you still don't hear
Remember how when I'd tell you what happened at work you'd say no wonder it happens because you talk to me like the warehouse staff at work or no wonder that happens because you are such a fucked up person acting like a manager
Remember when you told the girls I was a whore because I had contact with my ex via Facebook and threatened to tell all I knew what I had done to work family and friends - remember I asked for forgiveness and admitted my mistake when I did what I did
Remember you told me I had shit timing asking for a divorce whilst M… was writing matric now S… is in matric and you want a divorce but only if Student accommodation happens or nothing
Remember when I said we should discuss a way forward for a divorce you said not now because you're tired and went to sleep you also said I should proceed after you said we'd do if amicably but said everything is on my computer after I loaned it to you for power because God forbid you have no cell phone *yes I found info to discuss
Remember when you would question me where a Facebook birthday post was that you had tagged me in because you couldn't see it on my timeline and insist on seeing it no matter how many times I showed you
Remember your close relationship with C… and when I caught you out you turned tables on me, blaming me because I don’t want to have sex with you
Remember how on the night of 9th October 2017 you said my whole life will change by the weekend and I will never be able to face every one I know....because you'll tell them what I'm like apparently I have another Facebook profile the one I had nothing to do with you said you wouldn't bring it up again
Remember when you wrote poems for me and I said I didn't understand to please explain and was told read it to understand or unless we are intimate you'd explain
Remember when I went to help at cub camp and I asked that things were done, when I returned nothing was done
Remember when you wrote poems for other woman and said it's my fault because I don't care
Remember how when we fight you tell me how fucked my family is and I'm a spoilt bitch no wonder my parents always fought with me
Remember how you speak to the kids in a creepy caring way and ask them to do things on your phone when I’m sitting next to you in the car (like people demands you reply immediately?)
Remember how you hardly ever use indicators
Remember when you would ask me to do a message on my phone it had to be word for word like you want or else
Remember how you screamed at me at the breakfast table because I made you coffee and cremora and said you hate it........then I bought cremora because I wanted it with coffee and that is how you only drank your coffee
Remember how you'd turn into oncoming traffic or into lanes going around corners
Remember when cooking dinner and I poured all the boiling water whilst you busy with the mielies and you say how selfish I am because I couldn't spare you water (remember I don't make coffee because I poison you)
Remember how I wasn't allowed to change channels on the radio that you were listening to because I'm fucked up and selfish because I didn't ask, now I do and you think I’m stupid to ask
Remember how cross you'd get if I didn't like your food when I tried losing weight and said how fucked up I was not wanting to cook for the family
Remember how you keep wanting to add me to your poem and book writing group and I don't accept because why should I as I'm too stupid to understand
Remember how cross you were because I can't get another car for you to abuse (actually because the car needs tyres that you have used)
Remember how we promised the kids to not fight in front of them and how they could tell us to stop and if they did you told them to shut the fuck up
Remember how you went hunting with family and friends over my birthday more than once
Remember how you'd hit me and say it's me that makes you angry so it's my fault
Remember how you were telling me at K… party that people were laughing behind my back because I was talking shit about you.......funny how you didn't call me out or swear at me to stop (so it didn't happen because I found out) I spoke to Mer… and she wasn't offended nor did she laugh behind my back, you couldn't say what I said because I only said you didn't have a back bone about smoking
Remember how you blamed me for your insecurities
Remember how you never brush teeth and the smell makes me sick, your feet are just as bad
Remember you keep telling me after 2 years of marriage I changed, I asked if I had changed so much, why not insist on helping me.
Remember how you said I thought having children would change our marriage, I know it wouldn’t – I should’ve listened to my mom from her letter she wrote me
Remember how I'm not allowed to cut my hair - shave instead of dye and you were worried what people would say or even cut the girls hair too late I've done it and feel empowered (shouldn't tell you that)
Remember at Lara’s 21st how I stayed up until early hours whilst you 'wrote' and told me I was fucked up and selfish expecting you to stay awake until I got back
Remember how you sprayed perfume into your takkies and I tried saying maybe that's why they smell and you went off telling me to fuck off I'm not at work and my opinion is not relevant
Remember when I went for my operation and I wanted everyone to be with me and you decided otherwise and told me to stop with the fucking attitude on WhatsApp and you and the girls left the group
Remember when if we were ready and waited in the car you screamed at us because we were rushing you (whilst smoking) and some days you'd say "You're welcome to wait in the car"
Remember when at the mall it was raining and a guy came running in from the rain, he slipped and fell. I saw what happened, I went to help, called an ambulance and you got angry because you wanted to leave and said ‘Why are you helping him” (he was an old African man).
Remember how you were always on your phone even if we were sitting at Spur for breakfast. If I said anything you’d tell me to shut the fuck up and continue.
Remember for nearly 7 odd years you didn’t work and kept telling me if I didn’t change my attitude our circumstances were not going to change.